But your life is happening for a reason.

(for all those who have lost a loved one, this is for you.)

I’m still grieving.

I don’t think you ever stop grieving, I think it just becomes a part of your living. It hits me once a week, usually when I’m driving to work. I’ll hear a song and have to turn it off, but the feelings of her presence still hits. Maybe if I took the day off the day I found out, it would be easy now. It has been also two years and it never gets easier.

It really hit tonight. Things are changing in my life and it isn’t easy. I realized what is changing started when you left and that’s why it feels so soul encompassing. 

Nothing is the same. Thinking of my future and all these big moments without her there is hard to grasp. This sadness puts a new perspective on my life. 

The little things don’t matter. It doesn’t matter: if you weigh more than you used to, that someone cut you off on your way to work, that you’re not where you thought you would be at this age. It all doesn’t matter. Yet we sweat these things everyday. I do. 

But then I have a moment that puts it all in perspective. It crashes into me and I’m crying in the same shower I was years ago.

All we have is right now.

The grief doesn’t go away. I thought one day it would, but someone’s mark on your life and your heart will always stay with you. 

As new things grow into your life others grow in a new direction. In a way my life is just beginning as each passing moment is now just a memory. 

In some of these new moments I meet someone who reminds me of her. I want to hug them in the hopes that her spirit will come through.

She was in my life from the beginning and now my life is still going. 

Nothing will ever be the same as it right now.

But your life is happening for a reason. 

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